Playboy Bunny Ring Girl?

Anybody have a Playboy Bunny suit hanging in your closet? I mean the real deal, not one of those lingerie imitations that comes in a clear plastic bag and has all the parts including the puffy bunny tail for $19.99. It has to have the super high-cut legs that go all the way to the waist. I already have the fishnets left over from my guest appearance at the Condor a couple of years ago.

I need it ASAP so I can work out and starve myself to fit into the darn thing by next April. And no, I do not want a Plus-size Bunny Suit. Yes, they make them – I saw it online while searching for authentic Playboy Bunny costumes.

And why, you ask, is this essential? Well, after my last birthday (69) when I did the Wonder Woman bungee jump as a re-enactment of the forty-fifth birthday bungee jump, the newspaper reporter asked me what I would do for my fiftieth birthday that could top this?  I said I wanted to be a ring girl at a boxing match. So, it’s time to make good on my word – only twenty years late!

I’m hoping there are boxing matches scheduled for Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas on April 8, 2017. And that the people that run the show allow me to take a lap in the ring holding up a card with the round number. Just once. I will have to convince them. I mean really, who would want a senior citizen parading around in a Bunny costume in their boxing ring?

So, dear friends and readers, if you know any boxing promoters, or any ex-Playboy Bunnies who still have the outfit let me know. Or if any of you travel to Macau or Cancún go to the Playboy Club and try to wrangle one of the Bunnies out of her outfit. Don’t call me if you get arrested trying.

Meanwhile, I’m composing a letter to Christie Hefner to see if she wants to get on board. I’m pretty sure her dad, Hugh, is too busy to be bothered. Christie might think it’s a fun caper, but then again, she may just call the men-in-the-white-coats on me. Either way, I’ve got nothing to lose. I’ve lived through worse. Party on!