Fifty States Before I Die

 

 

 

How many states have you visited? And by visited, I mean more than just touching soil. You have to have lived there, vacationed there, or at least passed through long enough to have stayed at Motel 6 and dined on prairie oysters in, say, Amarillo, Texas.

I drove cross-country with my kids when they were going to college back East. Between the crazy airline years and the many moves I’ve made, I have forgotten some of the places I’ve been. Does it count if you can’t remember but your airline logbook says you layed over?

I’m going to check my skydiving logbook. Hell, if I jumped out of a damn plane I think it should count even if I don’t remember where I was. Well, after all, it was way back in the 70s and, yeah, we smoked some doobies on the way up to altitude on occasion. It wasn’t my idea, of course. But when the jump-master is passing it around, it’s easier to just take a puff and pass it on than to protest. I never died in a skydiving accident — came close, but walked away alive to tell the tale.

So far, I have a total of twenty-five states. OMG! Half — I only have half. I thought for sure I was close to fifty. I’m gonna check the logbooks again.

There are certain states which don’t seem like destinations to me (being from New York and relocated to California), like the whole northern region — Montana, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Nebraska, Minnesota, Iowa. and Wisconsin. Hmmm, anybody up for a road trip? Gonna have to find a reason to go there.

I might have to take a train to Seattle to see my daughter in Tacoma just so I can check off Oregon. I’ve been flying over it for years on my way to Washington State and have no plans to drive the thirteen hours to her house. Oh, but wait — If I stop for an overnight at the halfway point I can check off Oregon! Maybe stop at IHOP, eat some pancakes, get back on the train. Yeah, that’s it…gonna look at the calendar and pencil it in.

I can’t, by all rights, check off the group of southern states — Mississippi, Alabama, or Georgia even though I know I drove though them in my seafoam-green Jaguar in 2002 on my way to Miami, where I lived for five years. I don’t recall eating a Georgia peach there, although I probably sang “Sweet Home Alabama” on my way through. I don’t specifically recall, so I can’t count it. Oh, but wait. I went to a reunion of Stewardesses of the 1960s and 70s five years ago in Atlanta, Georgia. Check! Now that was an unforgettable gathering!

Is this what happens when you retire and you have time on your hands? Am I sorry I didn’t keep one of those colored maps of the USA and check off the states as I went? Nope. Not my style. This is way more fun. I’m gonna plan a bunch of train trips and take some time in each place.

Happy travels to all you adventurous souls. If you have plans to hit the road and need someone to ride shotgun give me a holler. I’m thinking summertime is best for Fargo, North Dakota and come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I had a layover there with TIA in the 70s, but it was winter, we didn’t leave the hotel, and I don’t count it. I wanna put on some waders and go fly-fishing in the river. Do they have that in Fargo? If they do, I’m gonna check it off next time I’m there.

Meanwhile, I’m gonna go see Lynn and Lucas in Puerto Rico. It’s a US territory so I’m checking it off!