Before I became a blogger, I unfriended 100 of my Facebook “friends”. Why? Because they were people I barely knew. They barely knew me. I wasn’t mad at them; I just didn’t think they cared about what I was doing, and I didn’t think I cared about what they were doing. I had just moved to Costa Rica and planned to live a quiet, private, secluded lifestyle and write books.
Well, guess what? Wherever you go, there you are. Little by little, I started socializing, partying, volunteering, and basically came around to being the same out-going person I have always been. Grandma always said: “A leopard doesn’t change its spots”.
I did start writing the books. Then I found out I need a “Writer’s Platform”, which, being an unknown, meant getting readers to know my name. Hence, I started blogging. Blogging is not as easy as I thought. Learning to navigate the site, how to format, how to input photos, etc. It may be easy for some, but, for me … not so much. It took me hours and hours to do the simplest thing.
I got help. It was excellent help. I was patiently talked through the process, gained confidence, and now can focus on content. I’m a far cry from being an expert, but if I stick to the format I know, I’m okay. Armed with new-found knowledge, it was time to build readers. How? Social media!
Oh dear! How do I get those people back? The 100 I unfriended! I didn’t think those people would notice or care that I unfriended them. I was told they wouldn’t even know since Facebook does not notify the person that got unfriended. I built up my friend list with people in my community, with friends of friends, with acquaintances I had only met once or twice, and their cousins, uncles, and aunts. Suddenly I had loads of new friends and a bunch of new blog subscribers. Whoo hoo!
Oh sure, there are some people who over-post on Facebook. Some people post nonsense about what they ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You can adjust your settings to not receive these posts and the poster never knows. I was in new blogger euphoria.
And then I got unfriended! By someone I barely knew. I didn’t notice at first; it took a couple of weeks to realize I wasn’t seeing posts by that person anymore, yet the name would appear in some comments posted by others. Although I have no real relationship with this person, nor did I care to, I was still shocked that they unfriended ME!
I had to laugh at my reaction. So, the question is, why? Did I do or say something untoward? Maybe I wrote something they didn’t agree with? I must have hit a nerve somewhere. Whose problem is it – the unfriender or the unfriendee? Or is it a problem at all? Did I hurt the feelings of the 100 I unfriended months prior? I didn’t mean to.
I grew up in Brooklyn, New York where the attitude is akin to Robert DeNiro’s famous line from Taxi Driver, 1976: “You talkin’ to me?” If you have an issue with me, tell me. If we can’t clear it, you can be the one to carry the grudge because I can assure you, I won’t.
It has been said: “Carrying a grudge corrodes the vessel in which it is carried.” Anger, resentment, jealousy – all destructive. Although I am baffled at why I was unfriended, I release you, unfriender, in love and light. As Reverend Deborah Johnson taught me at “Inner Light Ministries”: “Never let the smallness of somebody else’s life interfere with the fullness of your own.”
My blogging guru once told me that if I put myself out there, be prepared. There will be those who want to criticize, knock you down, or anger you. There will be those who adore you and think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. And there will be those who ignore you. Ya gotta have a tough skin sometimes.
Hmmmmm, would I rather be quietly unfriended or lambasted? Maybe being unfriended isn’t so bad after all.
Enjoy your life to the fullest today; “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” I learned that from Grandma Marion who has long departed the earth. She, most likely, learned it from another angel. God bless you!